


Begin Again

by sohelpmegod



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Drinking, M/M, Reunion, bad writing fjhdhdkdb, sad men, theyre still in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 07:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15576816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sohelpmegod/pseuds/sohelpmegod
Summary: Juno’s spending his night drinking alone. He hopes to spend it alone, but a certain thief changes that part of the plan.





	Begin Again

Juno’s all alone tonight in Hyperion City. Well- not alone, but he’s drinking in a hotel bar by himself. He’d have invited a friend to join him, but tonight’s mood is opposite of a fun one. Plus, nobody would care to drive all the way to a damn hotel just to have a drink or two with Juno. He’ll be fine. He can handle being alone.  


For the whole entire night, his past has been racing through his mind. Not just his distant past, but recent as well. His mistakes are the first he thinks of. So many things he could’ve done differently are forever changed. Trying to think of anything else, he closes his eye and leans his head back. By now, he prays it’s just the alcohol that’s got him messed up. Truthfully, he’s not even drunk.

Eye still shut, Juno can hear people exiting and entering the bar. He can hear voices too. And a laugh. A laugh that’s far too familiar rings in his ears. Juno opens his eye, looking for someone- anyone he can fit that laugh with. Nothing’s coming to him. Barely brushing it off, Juno looks back at his half empty drink. There’s no sip taken from it again, he just stares at it for a while. He's thinking of nothing, probably.

“ _Yes, well, I always do_ ,” he hears.

With no face or name matched to the laugh, Juno knows damn well who it is now. That voice.. There’s no way in hell he could not connect the dots now. It’s Peter Nureyev. It's the man he left without warning.  


He looks around once more, even more than last time, and then he sees him. By the window with a woman and a man, Nureyev chats. He hasn’t changed since he last saw him, and Juno smiles at that. Maybe he shouldn’t go over to him at all. Would it be better if he left Nureyev alone? The guy is busy, and Juno wouldn’t want to be a bother right now. Should he just go back to his room now? Still debating what he should do, his gaze is still upon Nureyev. A possible mistake on Juno’s part, because Nureyev looks around the room before spotting Juno. His expression changes as his eyes don’t stray from Juno. What is he thinking?

Juno tries to turn around on his barstool, but his knee smacks right into the counter. “God!” Juno mutters as he rubs his knee. He looks stupid, but it didn’t feel great to hit your knee hard on a counter right after you saw the man you did wrong. Completely done, Juno gets up, grabbing his coat before heading to the exit. He needs a long ass nap. Maybe tonight will fade into a dream he could have.

“Juno,” Nureyev says softly. He must have gotten up as Juno rammed his knee into the counter, because now he’s behind Juno, wondering what to do next. It’s left at that for a moment, before he speaks again. “Juno.. _Juno_.” The tone shift elicits a sigh from Juno. He turns around on his heel, still not looking into Nureyev’s eyes.

“Listen, it’d be great to get it over with, please. I’m tired enough already, alright?” Juno mutters, glancing up at Nureyev like he already knows what’s going to happen. He shakes his head at Juno, crossing his arms.

“Juno.. I- Perhaps not in a hotel bar? It’s best not to disturb the peace.” When Juno nods, Nureyev takes his hand, leading him to the elevator. “We’re heading to my room, is that alright? Just to talk. Maybe even yell.”

“Uh-huh. I mean, yeah.. Yeah, I would too.”

“Do not tell me you’re drunk,” Nureyev huffs, the two of them stepping into the empty elevator. “I want this to get through to you. I don’t want to explain this to a drunken idiot, Juno.”

“I’m not drunk. I don’t think,” Juno chuckles to himself. “But you can start right now, because I hate silent elevators. Creeps me out.”

“Hush, then,” Nureyev looks back at Juno, who's still holding his coat. “Juno, what were you thinking? You and I _both_ know I could understand if your decision had changed.” Juno bites his lip, nodding. Man, he really got to the point quick, didn’t he? He whispers something Nureyev can’t and doesn’t care to make out. Nureyev doesn’t say another word. For now, they’re left with the elevator’s dings as it reaches the 17th floor.

Nureyev pushes past Juno, walking quick to his room. Juno catches up as Nureyev holds open the door for the saint. He sits in the nearest chair, throwing his coat over it. It’s his turn now.

  Before him stands Peter Nureyev, the man he left, silent. “Don’t think I don’t regret it, Nureyev,” his attention is at the ground. Not letting his emotions show was working well, but he’s not so sure anymore. “Because I do. God damn it, I do.. I-I couldn’t leave, but you had this big idea of-of a future together that I couldn’t.. I don’t know,” Juno sighs. He wished Nureyev would say something, but to no avail. “It should’ve gone differently, I know that. It was shitty, Nureyev, and I wish I could erase that, but I can’t. I-I’m not asking you to forgive me for what I did, but,” Juno looks up at the man before him, whose face has relaxed since they first entered the room. “Know that if I could undo it, I would without a second thought. I missed you..” The words coming from his mouth are nothing but the truth. Juno's filled with deep regret any time he thinks of Nureyev. He's missed him for months because of what he chose to do.

“I know..” Nureyev whispers, closing his eyes. He pauses. “I’m still extremely angry with you, you know. But.. I don’t know how to express this..” He sighs, holding his hands to his chest. He chuckles. “Juno, I would love to have the pleasure of slapping you across your silly little face. But, I missed you so much that it’s become overwhelmingly emotional to see you again..” He brushes his fingertips over Juno’s cheek, pursing his lips. “I missed you, Juno. I would greatly enjoy yelling at you for what you’ve done, but I’d enjoy just a hug even more,” he whispers, watching for Juno to meet his eyes. Juno takes Nureyev’s hand into his own. He stands up from the chair, and kisses Nureyev.

The pair are eternally in this single moment. For Juno, the deep regret he feels for wronging him washes away for a second, as he holds him close. Nureyev smiles into the kiss, wishing it could have been this way every day for the past few months. Juno places both of his hands on Nureyev’s face, not wanting the moment to end. It does, as all things do, but because of the wave of emotion rising in Juno. He wants to beat himself up, wants to be called out for his actions, and at the same time, just wants to be alright with Nureyev again. He wants to hold him like this and never let go.

“Juno, are you... are you crying?”

“Huh?” Juno sniffles. Yeah, he was. He noticed, but forgot to care. Juno chuckles. “Nah.”

Nureyev smiles, kissing his cheek softly before pulling away. “Stay. If you’re not too busy, of course. I’d appreciate it, but I understand if you can’t or would rather not, Juno.” Nureyev kicks both of his heels off toward his bed, turning to smile at Juno. “I did cut off a business talk for you, in fact.”

“That’s what that was?” Juno wipes the tears from his face, chuckling. “I’ll stay. Here. I’m not busy, so I’ll be fine.” He smiles back to Nureyev, who’s still smiling. “I promise never to leave again.. Not like that. I-”

“Hush, Juno,” Nureyev says, “We can talk of that later, but I want to think about you and I right now..” As does Juno.

So they do. They think of each other, catching up all night in the hotel bed, talking for hours. When they eventually fall asleep together, neither feel unsafe. Nothing can get to them anymore. Nureyev wakes to Juno gone again, but not without a note.

**_Rita called and needs me for most of the day. Try to swing by my office tonight? Miss you already._ **

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys fjhdhd forgive me if it seems slightly out of character or something, or if the writing is bad. it’s my first work I feel like making public fhhddj and I wrote it at 2 in the morning.


End file.
